


Champagne, Cocaine, Gasoline

by BandGirl33



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Cocaine, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Violence, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Requited Love, Self-Medication, Unrequited Love, ashton is being stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-19 17:10:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15514557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BandGirl33/pseuds/BandGirl33
Summary: Ashton slips into a Cocaine fueled haze as he tries to numb the growing feelings he has for Calum.





	1. Five Thousand People With Designer Drugs

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing written about drug use is in anyway reflective of the boys.  
> It's a work of fiction so please don't come for me.

LA life was something that both Ashton and Michael struggled with, except Ashton didn't have someone to lean on like Michael did. It was a silent agreement between all of them that no one would bring up whatever was going on with him and Luke. Ashton was glad that the colorful Guitarist had someone to fall back on, to level him out. It was also a silent agreement that no one was going to bring up how often Ashton self-medicated so that he could ignore his growing feelings for their bass player, he was in love and Calum was oblivious to the feelings that were becoming harder to numb. 

 

The drummer and the band were currently at some party hosted by a snobby bitch they had met at a club. He has always heard that expensive people had expensive taste in drugs and he was determined to soak it all in. He was waisted and he knew his band was wasted somewhere in the sea of people. It wasn't long before Ashton found himself doing lines of cocaine on the counter of an upstairs bathroom, Calum had been flirting with a pretty girl and any self Controle Ashton had slipped out the window. 

 

"Hey man, hurry up I need to piss." The shout was loud and almost drowned out the knocks that accompanied it. 

 

Ashton did the last line he had on the counter before wiping it down and splashing cold water on his face. The other boys dabbled with things like Coke but it never really stuck to any of them like it did with him, Calum especially wasn't a fan. Ashton remembers him saying that he didn't like how unfiltered they all got, stateing that not caring that much was going to get them into trouble. When he pulled open the door to the bathroom he was met with familiar brown eyes that quickly showed how pissed Calum was, it didn't take long for the tan boy to realize how high his bandmate was. 

 

"Fucking hell Ash, Stay here while I pee, we're going home after." 

 

"I don't want to go home, stop being dramatic." 

 

"We have too many eyes on us right now for you to be doing that shit. Our album is a month away from dropping and you're coked up at some random party. Why the fuck do you even need that shit!" 

 

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING FEEL IT ANYMORE CALUM!" 

 

"Feel what?! If shit is getting bad again you should have just fucking said something, not get high all the time!" 

 

"I DON'T WANT TO FEEL HOW FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU I AM!..... I need another drink." 

 

He left Calum standing on the top of the stairs before the boy could respond. He was going to get drunk, black out drunk and no one was going to stop him. His cup was never empty and the faces of the people around him were getting more out of focus. He was drunk enough not to have a sense of time and by the time the band was ready to leave he could barely register the feeling of the tattooed hands guiding him to a car. 

~ 

~ 

~ 

Ashton wished for death the moment he woke up, sun shining into his eyes as he was sprawled across a couch in a living room that definitely didn't belong to him. This wasn't his couch or his house, it was Calum's. "Fucking kill me." The small whisper he managed made his head spin as he shot off the couch and into the bathroom, his stomach emptying itself. He mentally cursed himself for not eating before they went to the party. 

 

"You deserve to feel that shitty mate." Calum's deep voice held an edge of anger. 

 

"Fuck off Cal, what the hell did I do last night?" 

 

"Depends, what's the last thing you remember?" 

 

"Getting coke off one of Roy's friends and heading upstairs." 

 

"Yeah well you made an ass out of yourself a few times after that, not to mention our yelling match." 

 

"I'm sorry dude, I didn't mean to get all agro on you." 

 

Ashton had managed to pull himself off the floor at this point, heading for the kitchen to find the source of the coffee smell making it's way through the house. He found two freshly poured cups, one black and the other filled with the sweet creamer Calum loved. 

 

"Yeah well it's not the best feeling to have someone tell you how being in love with you is the reason they keep spending their weekends coked up at trashy rich girl parties. It's whatever though, do what you need to man." Ashton instantly dropped the mug he had in his hand, hot black coffee flying across the floor. 

 

"I'm sorry, what? There is no way I did that. You're losing it Cal." 

 

"Ash just be fucking real with me for once." 

 

"Calum, this is stupid and I don't have the energy for it. It didn't happen." 

 

Ashton was out the door before Calum could stop him. There was no way he let that slip, how the hell could he let that slip. Ashton's mind was on over drive as he walked down the street, every bad outcome pouring through his head. He isn't quite sure what he ended up in front of a dingy bar but he wasn't going to question it. He was severely hungover and need some hair of the dog. 

~ 

~ 

~ 

It wasn't even two in the afternoon by the time Ashton was drunk again. He had been downing shots and beers left and right since he walked into the bar. There were pretty people dancing all around him and he continued to drown his thoughts in whiskey. It wasn't long before the bartender was cutting him off, asking for a number of someone who could come get him. He wasn't looking as he pressed the first name in his recent calls, sliding the phone over to the women on the other side of the counter. 

 

"Um hi, I have your friend here at my bar and he is way to drunk to try and get home by himself so could you or someone, anyone, come and get him. He started crying like 4 different times and I refuse to listen to another break down about how in love with his friend he is.......yeah I'll text you the address.......thanks dude." 

 

Ashton watched the bartender send a quick text to whoever she called before Sliding his phone and a glass of water over to him. His head was resting on his arms that were folded on the bar, he had chugged the water fast enough to make the room spin and he was trying to ground himself before he puked all over the bar floor. He heard the bartender let out a relieved sigh before a tall body and thin arms pulled him up off the seat. He could tell by the height that it was Luke bt he was shocked to see Calum sitting in the driver seat of the car he was being dragged to. 

 

"Fuck you Luke." He hissed out the insult between his teeth. 

 

"Shut the fuck up and get in the car, we're talking about this when you sober up." 

 

"I don't want to fucking talk about it, I'm fine." 

 

He was almost yelling now, punching the back of Calum's head rest while he bitched. He could see the patience leaving Calum as he kept trying to fight his way out of the car. He could see the moment the Tan boy snapped, flinging his body over the seat and landing a solid punch to Ashton's jaw, knocking him out. 

 

"Close your mouth and get the fuck in the car Luke, he'll be fine."


	2. Feels Like My Heart Is Going To Burst

"I can't believe you fucking hit him." Luke's voice was panicked but the only thing Calum could do was roll his eyes 

 

"That was the only way we were getting him here." 

 

"When I told you to bring him to my house I didn't mean almost kill him." 

 

"Next time you can drag him home from the bar Mike." 

 

Ashton could hear their bickering through his half drunken haze. His jaw was sore and his head was starting to throb now that the booze was burning out of his system. The more he woke up the more he could make out around him. He was sitting in a chair and couldn't move his arms. 

 

"I swear to god if I am tied to this fucking chair I'm going to kill all three of you." 

 

"Okay tough guy. Can't you just shut the fuck up for once, since you can't seem to be fucking honest." 

 

"I'm not talking about this with you again Calum." 

 

"Really. So Luke didn't get a call from a random bartender telling him about how you wouldn't shut up about me?!" 

 

"Jesus Christ why can't you just leave me alone?!" 

 

"IF YOU WOULD JUST SHUT UP FOR TWO FUCKING MINUTES I WOULD FUCKING TELL YOU THAT I FUCKING LOVE YOU TOO YOU JACK ASS!" 

 

Ashton could hear the tears threatening to spill out of Calum. He could hear his heavy breathing and sniffles move further away from him as the boy headed for the front door, stopping long enough to throw one last remark at the drummer before exiting. 

 

"Get your shit together Ashton or this is never going to work." The floor shook as Calum slammed the door. 

 

Ashton felt like his world was falling out from around him. He started pulling against the belts that were keeping him tied to the chair. It wasn't until he was gasping for air that Michael knew Ashton was having a panic attack. The younger boy undid the belts with nimble fingers, leaving ashton to drop to the ground. 

 

"Oh my god.... I can't do this....... I fucked everything up..... Mikey help me...." 

 

The plea came out in short gasps. His fingers were scratching at the shirt that suddenly felt 100x times too tight for him. Ashton could feel Michael wrap his body around the older man as encouraging words slipped through his lips, arms circling Ashton's body as he fought to breath again. He was sufficating in his own stupid actions. 

 

"Ash you need to breath. In and out with me okay, just match me." 

 

Nothing was slowing down the rapid pace of Ashton's Lungs. The walls were getting fuzzy and the voices of his friends were beginning to become muffled. Ashton could barely make out the words being yelled as he slowly lost consciousness. The last thing his mind registered was someone yelling to call 911 and to get ahold of Calum. 

~ 

~ 

~ 

When ashton woke up again it was to the sound of steady beeping and the sterile smell of hospital. He could hear the soft voices of the two guitarists chatting back and forth about letting his mom know that he was okay. The voices suddenly came to a stop as Ashton heard the curtains being pulled back. 

 

"He should be awake soon, there isn't anything major wrong with him but he is lucky this was called in as a medical emergency or I would have to report him. He could have gotten in serious trouble, he had a surprisingly high amount of cocaine and alcohol in his system." 

 

'Of course he does because god forbid he faces his fucking problems." 

 

"Cal, calm down. The last thing this needs is you making him feel like shit." There was an edge to Michaels voice as he adressed the tan boy. 

 

"Mike, what else am I...." 

 

"No Calum, he's already going to have to deal with both his mom and out management wanting to throw him into rehab. Got knows how well that's going to go over once his mom gets here." 

 

Everyone went silent at that. Calum knew that the older boys mom was on a flight to LA as they spoke but he didn't know that their management team knew anything about Ashton's drug use. Ashton knew he didn't have a problem, he didn't need them shoving him into some treatment center. 

 

"Can you guys shut up, I'm not going rehab. Fuck management." 4 sets of eyes shot over to him, like they had forgotten he was even there. 

 

"Cal is right, I don't know how to handle my problems. I don't belong in LA, never have, but I sure as hell don't need to go to rehab...... When can I get out of here doc?" 

 

"Now that you're awake you're free to go once someone signs you out so I know you won't be driving home.' 

 

"Calum instantly stepped forward to grab the paperwork from the doctor, writing down his information and agreeing to take responsibility for the safe return of Ashton to his house. As calum wrote the doctor looked ove the group of boys before asking what was apparently a standered question. 

 

"Alright, before I hand his over to you lot, what exactly are your relations to Mr. Irwin?" 

 

"Brother.' 

"Brother." 

"Boyfriend." 

 

Michael could barely stifle his laugh as Ashton shot Calum a surprised look. He was met with an icey glare from, to his surprise was, his boyfriend. It was like Claum was daring him to to say something about him claiming the older boy. Besides a hard glare he was also met with a face full of clothes being thrown at him by the tan boy. 

 

"Get dressed. I'm hungry and you need something to soak of all that shit in your body." 

 

"Lu and I will meet you later, once everything has settled down and your back at someone's house." Michaels voice was soft as he grabbed Luke's hand leading him out the door with the fingers locked. 

 

Ashton sat and watched the two boys leave before pushing himself off the bed, head throbbing at the action. Calum slid the curtain closed once more and Ashton peeled the itchy hospital gown from his body. He was glad the hospital staff had left his underwear on or else the fact that Calum was staring at him would have been really fucking awkward. It wasn't long before they were walking quickly to Calum's car. He slid in quitely, watching as the younger boy rested his head on the steering wheel before letting out a groan and punching the dash. 

 

"Do you have any idea how bad you scared me Ashton? I GOT A CALL FROM LUKE WITH NO OTHER INFORMATION BESIDES THE FACT THAT YOU WERE IN AN AMBULANCE!..... For all I fucking knew you overdosed or some this. You can't do that shit to me Ash!" 

 

"I'm sorry.....I didn't mean for it to happen. One moment I was just pissed off and the next you were gone and I couldn't breath." 

 

They were both crying now, Calums head still leaning against the wheel and Ashton covering his face with an arm. It wasn't until they were both sitting in silence, sniffling to try and stop the tears that Ashton felt and hand on his arm, coaxing it away from his face. The moment he slid the limb down he was met with shiny brown eyes that would be too close for comfort if it was anyone but Calum. He barely managed a gasp before there was a pair of soft lips pressed to his.


	3. Where There's No Such Thing As Getting Out Of Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. My brain has been hella blank lately.

The next few days were hell for both boys. Calum refused to give any affection, besides quick pecks, to the boy until he was fully detoxed from the bullshit he had put into his system. Calum had taken the keys to Ashton’s car along with his phone and threatened their friends into ignoring him until Calum gave them the all clear. Both Calum and Ashton’s mom were souly responsible for taking the boy places. Ashton was agitated from the lack of chemicals in his body and how little Controle he felt like he had. If it wasn’t for Calum’s firm tone when he was giving Ashton the ultimatum, “You either get me or the drugs Ash, not both.” It took all of two seconds for Ashton to let out a defeated sigh, handing over both phone and keys to the tan boy. 

 

The day after Ashton had made it home from the hospital he was swiftly dragged to a boxing gym. He knew their normal trainer, Max, taught boxing too but he wasn’t prepared to be forced into the ring by his boyfriend, if he could even call him that right now. The trainer didn’t hesitate to glove Ashton up while Calum excused himself to the bathroom, small smirk being flashed the drummer's way before walking off. He let the trainer place the gear on him while the man mumbled stuff along the lines of, “I’m not getting in trouble for one of you getting hurt.” and “I’m only here to make sure he doesn’t kill you before tour.” before fully directing his comments to Ashton. 

 

“This is going to suck but you need to let him have this. He’s hurt and pissed so just let him do what he needs to, just tap the ground 3 times if you can’t take it anymore, okay?” 

 

“Yeah I got it Max.” 

 

When Calum returned to the ring he had a new kind of fire in his eyes, one of pain and betrayal. Ashton repeated their trainer’s words back in his head, “Let him do this, he needs it.” Ashton hadn't really understood the extend of the damage he had done to the boy he loved, he had been destroying Calum along with himself. 

 

“Alright boy, this is a free for all but gloves must stay on and tap outs have to be respected. No causing major damage that is going to have your label after my ass got it?” With a nod to the trainer the boys bumped gloves and started circling each other, Calum starting the shit talking. 

 

“You wanna know something funny Ash, you’ll love this.” 

 

“Telling me a cute story won’t make me fig.......” His remark was cut short by a hard punch to the jaw and one to the stomach following it. 

 

“Shut up and listen. You don’t even realize how many times I’ve taken care of you while you drugged yourself up.” another punch. “ ’ve had to drag you out of clubs and parties time after time while you rambled about how much loving me hurt. I finally call you out on it and all you can fucking do is lie to my face!” Ashton took two more punches before Calum kept talking. “You couldn’t even recognize me through your coked haze.” Another hit. “Do you even understand how bad that hurt? You blamed me and couldn’t even remember who you were taking to!” 

 

Ashton’s nose was bleeding at this point but he kept himself open for more blows. He knew the tan boy needed this and he was going to let him have it. Calum could beat his ass to hell and back and Ashton would let him. 

 

“Fucking look at me Ashton, Fight back you asshole.” The tan boy was crying, voice cracking with his demand. 

 

“What do you want me to say Calum? I’m fucking sorry. I was trying to drown it out because you deserve so much better than me.” Ashton was hit with another punch to the face, this one throwing off his balance. 

 

“That’s a fucking cop-out and you know it. I’ve been waiting for you to grow some balls for fucking years Ashton, YEARS!” 

 

I’m a creature of insecurity and self-destruction Calum, what the hell did you expect!” Now he was getting mad. With a sore body and hazy mind he finally swung on Calum. 

 

“There he is, I knew you had some fire in you. Make you don’t need the line of Co.....” Ashton cut him off with a series of punches, one to the face and two to the chest. 

 

“You don’t get to fucking judge me for how I handle my problems, it’s not like you had the bals to tell me how you felt either.” 

 

Fuck you. Fuck you for even thing loving me was a fucking problem.” 

 

With the end of his statement Calum let his fists fly, landing several solid hits to the shorter boy before Ashton started feeling reality slip away from him. He slumped dow to his knees and slapped the floor three times then fell on his face. His vision was going in and out of focus and he could feel water being poured over his head for he could get his mind grounded enough to talk. 

 

“Can we be done here or do you need another round to get it all out babe?” He did open his eyes while he spoke but he heard Calum chuckled and figured he was in the clear. 

 

“Yeah I’m done, get up so we can go eat and go home.” 

 

Ashton felt arms pulling him up to his feet and wrap around his waist. When he finally opened his eyes he was met with deep brown ones that held his universe. Calum’s arms slid up to wrap around Ashton’s neck, pulling the shorter boy in for kiss. This kiss felt different, it wasn’t rushed or laced with pain. This kiss was coming home. This kiss was high that he had never felt before, a high that would build him instead of destroying him.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos, chapter ideas, and what you guys think of the story!


End file.
